Freedom in Surrender

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He came unexpectedly and out of nowhere.  She uncomfortably and bashfully squirmed with a smile as she tried to embrace the extremely sweet and generous affirming words coming from the other end of the phone.  Her heart undeniably longed for them to be true and trustworthy but her heart struggled to believe.  And rightly so.

Over the years, she had gotten used to feeling less than and undervalued.  It was her normal.  All the while, masking the deep desire she had for her spouse’s love behind stubborn faith and her Father God’s unconditional love and acceptance.  After all, as a woman of faith, God’s love was what mattered most.  So what if her then husband’s actions broke and wounded her heart time and time again?  So what if she could not trust him?  She tried really hard.  She wanted that with all of your heart.  On several occasions, she even prayed to have a bride like love-like-you-have-never-been-hurt kind of trust but the truth is, trust has to be earned and earning it was not something her, then husband, did very well.  However, she had God. She could trust HIM.  We are never told in scripture to trust man, anyway, right? She was called to love the unlovable and just maybe her love would be the catalyst for the deliverance she adamantly waged war for.  Her battle scars were many, with wounds that never stood a chance of healing with each new discovery and reminder that she would never be enough.  Nothing could fix this.   Each season of counseling and accountability gave her hope but hope that quickly would turn to despair again.  Nevertheless, she did not let that stop her.  Consequently, she even began to wear that as a type of prideful badge of martyrdom after years of the same brokenness.  BUT just maybe that is what helped her heart to survive each new season of pain.   She wanted so badly for God to be glorified in her life and in her marriage.  And for her, if that meant sacrificing her own heart, then so be it.  To some, she came across as strong and whole but inside there was a different kind of story to tell.

She kept believing after every revealing that maybe THIS TIME would be the LAST time.  After years of the same destructive cycles repeating,  it had become obvious to her that she could not control his last time  but she could control HER last time, and she did.  She finally gave up on her dream that change would permanently come.  She knew that the final revealing was her prayers and the prayers of others being answered.  Freedom and bravery came to her that day.   You see, God always answers our prayers but it may not look like what we had envisioned.  Nevertheless, His ways are so much higher.   She knew she was being released and rescued and she embraced it.  For her, it was bittersweet.  Tears of relief but yet tears of sadness realizing how far unchecked sin can takes us.

And Now.

After nearly two years following her divorce, she meets him.  Their meeting was nothing but miraculous and still yet, she was determinedly cautious and understandably fearful.  Looking for red flags and any reason to run, she did what she could to find out about this man who was awakening things in her heart that she had long ago determined to let go of.  And slowly but surely, it happened.  She began to imagine life with someone whose values and love for God were similar to her own.  She began to dream again.  She hesitantly allowed herself to believe that just maybe there was someone that could love her as God intended.

She is still learning. She is still growing.  She is moving forward.  She is intentionally surrendering her past at the feet of her Savior and He is setting her heart free. Free to believe in love again and free to hope in new beginnings.   And, even though she is not fully confident she can trust again, there is a glimmer of hope in her heart that just maybe she can.  SO it is with that, that she is bravely allowing her soul to be awakened to love and her gut tells her, it may just be worth it!  Let it be so, Lord!

What about you?  What is it in your life that you need to let go of in order to embrace the good plans that God has for you? Are there fears from your past that are holding you back from your tomorrows?  Friend, God is faithful and He can be trusted to take your mess, your hurts, and your disappointments and work them together for good and for a future that has His blessing and favor interwoven throughout.  No need to fear…God’s got you! Today, will you be brave and choose to surrender all the ashes from your past and give your heart freedom to experience life to the full? With God’s grace, you CAN do it! There is truly freedom in surrender…freedom to embrace this new day, new beginning, new chapter and new you!  Let’s do it! Are you with me?

The steps of a [good] man are directed and established by the Lord when He delights in his way [and He busies Himself with his every step].  Psalm 37:2

Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old.  Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.  Isaiah 43:18-19

This is Love

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He was despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief…..

Isaiah 53:5

Have you felt the pain of rejection?  Has your heart bore the pain of being broken by those you love the most? Have you lived with regret over your past?  Have you experienced sorrow and grief?  If you have lived on this earth for very long you soon realize your heart will not go untouched.  To live and to love brings the opportunity for pain.  There is no getting around it.

The good news is, there is hope. You are not alone.  There is One who sticks closer than a brother.  Do you know HIM?  His name is Jesus.  He loves you so much that He suffered and died for you and now is seated at the right hand of God interceding for you!   JESUS KNOWS about rejection.  JESUS KNOWS your pain.  JESUS KNOWS your sorrow.  Not only does He know about such pain, but He, Himself, has experienced all of these and MORE.  The amazing, beautiful thing about Jesus is that He experienced pain, rejection, and sorrow by CHOICE.  He chose to experience these things in order to set your heart free.  He chose to suffer because of His amazing love for you and for me.   No one would choose the pathway of pain. No one would choose to walk through the door of grief and sorrow.   We all know, It is one thing to experience pain at the mercy of others but to choose to be broken, to be wounded…  Who would do that?

Jesus would. And He did.  For you.  For me.  For the world.

Hebrews 12:2 says “For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross… what joy could there possibly be in the excruciating death He suffered? YOU…you were His joy!! Joy which compelled Him to walk the pathway of darkness…to endure the suffering of the cross…. He was filled with joy at the thought of redeeming you and me and of saving a lost world.   He knew you needed a Savior to heal you, to deliver you, to take your sins and my sins upon Himself.

He went through it all so that He could write your love story.  He came to rescue you.  He came to save you.

Do you sometimes have issues with self esteem?…Do you sometimes feel like no one cares, no one loves you?  Turn your eyes to the cross and see His love poured out for you. You are so very valuable to HIM!! Because He CHOSE this kind of suffering, there is healing for you, there is beauty awaiting you in the midst of your brokenness.

There is no one, nor will there ever be, anyone who loves you like Jesus loves you!  At the cross, He meets you there and He offers extravagant love, forgiveness,  rest for your weariness and healing for your deepest wounds.  Place your hand in His….His nail scarred hand, and allow your heart to be captivated by His love.

Will there be more pain in your life?  More struggles?  Yes.  The difference is Him.  He will give you strength and peace in the midst of your storms. There will be treasures to be found in your trials.  He will never leave you, nor forsake you.  He will turn all things around for good in your life.  Your life of surrender will have purpose and meaning.  

But you must Choose.

Are you going to hold on to your life, your ways, your sins, your pain,  or will you surrender ALL to Him and allow Him to give you His beauty for your ashes.  You will find His grace is sufficient for you.  Look into His Word, get to know Him and fall in love with your Savior, your Lord, your King.

Just as Jesus was resurrected from death to life, He can bring life to the dead places of your heart.

How do I know these things?  I know them because I have experienced His love and mercy in my own life.  His forgiveness has freed me from the chains of guilt and shame. He has brought life to places that were dead.  I have seen His power and love change hearts and turn brokenness into beauty.  He has given hope where there was no hope. His love has captured my heart.  The dreams I used to have as a little girl of the “happily ever after” have been resurrected.  My future is secure in Him,  My prince has come and rescued me.  He offers the same love to you.

Run to His arms, my friend, experience TRUE love…. say YES to the extraordinary love He died to give you and allow Him to write your love story.

For God SO LOVED the world that HE GAVE His only begotten son, that whosoever would believe in HIM, would not perish but have everlasting life.  John 3:16