Divorce, Remarriage and a Handful of Stones

hand with stones

I never thought I would find myself writing about this subject matter.   This week, someone, who did not like my posts about my journey through divorce, shared my link in a “Christian” group page.  Since then, several have contacted me with regard to their disdain towards me.

Because I am divorced and I am a Christ follower, I have been sent videos on divorce and remarriage, that condemns both.  I have received horrible comments.  Some of these strangers who commented were seemingly kind but felt the need to correct my erroneous thinking.  Some picked up stones,  surrounding them with pretty bows of christian “cliches” and then proceeded to throw their ugliness full force.  Some just got right to their stone throwing without hesitation.

Below are some of the comments I have received.

  • “You should not be making believe that God approves of your divorce.”
  • ‘God does not bless your disobedience.  He hates it.”
  • “You need to repent of breaking your home and be forgiving toward your husband.”
  • “No true Christian can pursue divorce and claim Christ.  These two are incompatible. You do not know the heart of Christ if you claim otherwise.”
  • “Marriage is permanent. No exceptions.”
  • “You are still every bit married today in God’s eyes as you were on your wedding day….”
  • “Your sin brings destruction on the Church and smears Christ’s face in the mud.”(This one hurt the most)

The purpose of my blog is NOT to draw the attention of those who believe differently than me and inadvertently invite their judgement.  The intended purpose is to encourage other broken girls who need hope and courage in the midst of their own difficult journey.

I will not post, debate nor will I respond personally to comments from people who choose to carry stones in their hands.  That would be useless and of no good benefit, anyway.  I want to honor God not use this outlet to prove a point or debate such things.

I get it, there is a wide chasm that separates “Christians” because of their beliefs about divorce and remarriage, among other things.  There are scriptures that can be misconstrued, twisted, and taken out of context to support both sides of this debate. I have researched both arguments.   I have sought the heart of God for my own self.  While I do not in any way claim to be a biblical scholar, nor a “know it all” when it comes to this subject, I am at peace with what I feel God has revealed to me.

So why am I writing this? Part of me is venting, ha! The other part of me is sharing because this is a learning curve for me that maybe others can learn from, as well.

It’s a rough world out there friends, yes, even among those who identify themselves as Christians.  I have never, in my 50+ years on this planet, been addressed by “Christian” strangers in such a condescending, condemning and ugly way.   Sadly, I know this happens in the church world all the time but this is new for me.   I am frustrated and trying to find my footing in the midst of such ugliness.  I have prayed that the Lord would search and purify my heart from the evilness that is behind this.   I am reminded of Psalm 37 that has been my go to throughout the last couple of years.  I wrote about that here:  https://blessed-is-she.com/2018/03/22/185/.  I have to make an intentional decision to not fret, to trust God, to commit to Him, delight in Him, wait upon Him, guard my own heart and leave the hearts of others in His hands. SO much easier said than done BUT by God’s grace it CAN be done and done well! STILL learning this one!

The blessing that I am choosing to find in this messiness is that these people have caused me to reflect and search my own heart.  How do I treat others who do not believe the way I believe? Who interpret scripture differently from me?  There is a right way and a absolute wrong way.   I would not want to be guilty of causing my sister or brother in Christ to feel that they were my latest target for judgmental stoning because we believe differently.  I understand that there are times when we DO judge for our own protection.  The Word specifically tell us that we will “know” them by their fruits.  This requires judging the actions and behaviors of others BUT not ever for the purpose of condemning or picking up stones. That kind of judgement is rooted in pride, arrogance and an accusatory mindset.  However,  I may not have been as bold and cruel as these people but in my thoughts am I guilty of judging (stoning), as well? Have I done this very thing to others?  God knows our thoughts and motives way before others experience our actions.  Lord, please forgive me. What about you?  If we were all honest, we all have done this more than we care to admit.  We can do better!

Lord, Jesus help us! Help us to minister your love to those who are broken among us and to those who believe differently about such debatable topics.  God is big enough to correct each and every one of us if our hearts stay humble and teachable.  We have no idea the things some of our brothers and sisters in Christ have had to walk through.  There are many hurting.  There are many wounded.  Life is hard.  Help us to remember why you have given us space on this planet.  Not to throw stones but to be a light for you for the unsaved and to come along side of and encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ. May we be humble vessels that bring honor to your name as ambassadors for Christ.  Empower us to represent you well, so that others will experience your love through us.  Your Word tells us that it is your kindness that leads to repentance.  Together, may we show your kindness to those who are struggling to find their way.  We need you Lord! ALL of us! The married, the divorced, the widowed, the single, the remarried. the young, the old and all in between!  Judgmental Stones were meant to hurt not to heal.  Help us to use stones only to build a bridge so that others may find their way towards You.  The world is watching.  May they see the love of Christ in place of judgmental stoning within our church body and communities.  May we allow the Holy Spirit to do what only He can do and quit thinking that it is up to us to change or “fix” others.   May we fix our eyes on Jesus and thank Him for His amazing grace that transforms not only our own lives but the lives of those we are called to love and serve, even if they believe differently than we do.

4 thoughts on “Divorce, Remarriage and a Handful of Stones”

  1. I am so sorry for your resent stoning. I pray the bruises heal quickly. I taught a lesson Sunday on forgiveness being a choice and how God/Jesus is our best example of love and forgiveness. We are living in a self-righteous world even among Christians. Jesus said every knee will now and every tongue confess. I pray when I stand before Him He will say “well done…”. God bless you.

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    1. Thank so much for your kind comments! I am having to block some today because of their continual harassment. I appreciate you more than you know! Blessings to you, my sweet sister! 🙂

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  2. I’m so sorry that you have gone through this. Nowhere in the Bible does it say you cannot be Christian and divorced. YES God hates divorce, but He also hates stealing. And lying. And adultery. And idolatry. And ANY other sin. We all sin and fall short, but I don’t think that every divorce is a sin. My divorce was an outright sin, however I am now remarried as is he and we both have families that we love dearly. What should we do in this situation? Divorce (AGAIN) our spouses, break up our families, and harm our children just because God hated the first divorce? Should women in abusive relationships be forced to stay just because God hates divorce? Should men be forced to stay with a wife who constantly cheats on them and be emotionally and mentally unhealthy and miserable because God hates divorce? I truly don’t think any of that is what God would want. God sees our HEART. He loves us and also does want us to be happy. God hates divorce…..but He loves YOU more. Don’t listen to the people throwing those stones. Just listen to Jesus ❤

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and for your comments! They are like a welcomed breath of fresh air in the midst of the yuck! The Lord is opening my eyes more and more to His truths on this subject and I am so thankful. Thanks again! Many blessing to you, sweet sister! ❤️❤️

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